Listen children to a story that was written in the cold
'Bout a Kringle and his castle hosting hackers, meek and bold
Then from somewhere came another, built his tower tall and proud
Surely he, our Frosty villain hides intentions 'neath a shroud
So begins Jack's reckless mission: gather trolls to win a war
Build a con that's fresh and shiny, has this yet been done before?
Is his Fest more feint than folly? Some have noticed subtle clues
Running 'round and raiding repos, stealing Santa's Don'ts and Do's
Misdirected, scheming, grasping, Frost intends to seize the day
Funding research with a gift shop, can Frost build the better sleigh?
Lo, we find unlikely allies: trolls within Jack's own command
Doubting Frost and searching motive, questioning his dark demand
Is our Jack just lost and rotten - one more outlaw stomping toes?
Why then must we piece together cludgy, wacky radios?
With this object from the heavens, Frost must know his cover's blown
Hearkening from distant planet! We the heroes should have known
Go ahead and hack your neighbor, go ahead and phish a friend
Do it in the name of holidays, you can justify it at year's end
There won't be any retweets praising you, come disclosure day
But on the snowy evening after? Still Kris Kringle rides the sleigh